We used to meet in the Village. Grab drinks from older guys, get buzzed and move on. Bar crawl, from 16 years old. Crazy colored hair, crazy clothes, more older guys, more drinks. Maybe a quick blow job in the bathroom at Ty's on Christopher Street. Laughing all the way to the peers. Smoke a half pack of cigarettes, then decide where to go. Ice Palace? Sure.
And we danced.
Doing crazy things. Getting crazy crushes. Making more friends that didn't call me a fag. Having so much fun. I want to always be laughing. Feeling secure and not afraid anymore. Using my fake ID. Let's go somewhere. Styx? Sure.
And we danced.
Never without a cigarette. Always smoke them to the filter. Cruising in the dark rooms at the bookstore. Falling in love at the dirty movies. Forget him in an hour and run out the side door. Your boot heel broke...laughing again...Beauties? Hell yeah...give me 4...I don't need a drink. Starting to fly, need to move around. The Monster? Sure.
And we danced.
Man you look skinny. Looks good on you. Me? Nah, I've never weighed more than 120 pounds. Tight Jordache, Sasson's, and wearing Z-14. Smells like sex to me. I dunno, haven't seen him in a month. Can't get rid of the flu he said. He's a drama queen anyway. Micro-dot? I'm down. Put it on your tongue, let me lick it off. This is insane. And fun. I feel jittery. Studio? Sure.
And we danced.
Scary posters, scary chatter, scary faces. Man you look too skinny. I'm just sayin'. St. Marks Baths? Yes, but I want a room with you. Just us. Close the door. Love spooning with you. You smell like trouble. I like trouble. Coke? Yes. Put it on your stomach. Let me snort it off of you. Burning nose, sexed out, but feeling jumpy. Let's go to the disco room.
And we danced.
Why not? C'mon it's probably allergies and they say Sylvester is the show tonight. You're boring. I'm going alone. Lots of lights, lots of guys. Back against the wall, smoking and looking around. Everyone is so thin. Faces are hollow. Sure, why not? Shotgun...lips touch. Kissing, feeling high. The show is on. Let's jump on the speakers. Don't worry.
And we danced.
Man you feel hot. You sure? Maybe see the Dr.? I'll come with you. Let's go tomorrow. Don't panic, its government propaganda. I promise you're fine. Let me rub your back before your mother comes up here. One day I'm telling her we're getting married. Don't laugh. Put on Bonnie Pointer. Blast it. C'mere. I don't care. Shower later.
And we danced.
Two weeks later.....Huh? Is he sure? I heard those tests aren't reliable anyway. I'm not afraid. I'm really not. But I am. Really. I am. Lost touch. Didn't look back. Missed him but was scared. Acted out, acted bad, Act Up. Marched and yelled. Wore the shirts, carried the signs, used a fake name. Burnt fingers from candles, sore throat from yelling, watched friends die. Hid everything from family, and I missed him. New York subway. Waverly. Opposite sides of the tracks. Opposite cars...doors close. See each other. Wave really hard and laugh at each other. For the last time. Too young. It was real.
But we danced.
