Several weeks ago NBC News contacted me to do a "feel good" story of hope with them. I was so excited. They chose The Tweakers Project, (www.tweakersproject.org, facebook group the tweakers project), as their story of hope! They would call and tell me when they needed to shoot. No worries. I have, over the years of living in the "Hollywood" part of the world, learned to take every offer with a grain of salt. So I half believed it, but wholeheartedly hoped!
It was true. Mary Smith, the reporter called me and scheduled it for Friday. I was like, "Sure that's cool!"
FRIDAY....BLACK FRIDAY...the day every queen is out pushing, shoving and buying their way to happiness. Friday, the day after I had been with friends all day and into the night
. Friday, the day that someone I have been with for more than 2 years, had to leave to go back to Mexico. He came here for safety to live with family, as the drug cartel was getting too close to his village and his parents feared for his well being. He was here two years, and from a one night stand became the person I knew was always going to have a kind word. He was a lot younger than me.....legal..but a lot younger. I mentioned him dozens of times on my radio show DONKEY PUNCH. I talked about him to some of my closer friends. I introduced him to Lilly, the Dachshund that runs my apartment.
I kept him to myself mostly. I am so community involved, and am lucky enough to not be able to walk down the street without running into someone that I am friends with, that I decided I wanted one part of my life for myself. Something private, and someone that was not going to get mad when someone in politics did something I didn't like or some other activist was in favor of something I didn't agree with.
He was just pure joy. I didn't call him for four months at one point, because I, in my head, thought I was preventing him from meeting someone his own age. He texted me and called me almost daily during that time. It killed me not to call back, but I thought I was doing the right thing.
Finally , after much prodding from a friend I gave in and called. He was so happy and not the least bit mad. He simply said "I am so happy to hear from you, you are the best man I have ever met." I nearly melted. We spent a lot of time together after that. He went to school during the day and worked at night, but he would come over after work and sleep over. We both knew the day was coming when he was headed back to his "village" to be with his mom and dad and brothers. We both knew it would be before Christmas. Finally we both knew what day it would be.
Of course it was the day we were filming. Of course, because nothing is ever simple. He came over that morning, (we filmed at 2 pm) and he stayed till 1:30. After the longest hug, we took the last elevator ride on this part of our journey together , to the lobby of my building. I walked him outside as the sun blinded us. We hugged for fifteen minutes, and he said "Goodbye Papi, thank you for being such a kind man, I will miss you more than anyone here." One more kiss and he started to walk to the Blvd. to catch the bus back to his apartment. I watched as his perfect little butt got smaller and smaller as he went further and further away. He turned two times and waved and blew a kiss.
I became overwhelmingly sad. I was grateful to have had time with him. I was grateful for him never being angry at anything and always laughing. It was a dose of unaffected innocence into my now, long ago, jaded life.
I will try to go to Mexico. He will try to come back here to visit. I just hope he doesn't have the pain of isolation, as he lives in a tiny village with nothing gay to do. I headed up to my apartment , to go and sulk the whole day. The phone rang.
It was NBC. They were here. I forgot about them. I visined my eyes, altoided my breath, and Axed myself into a fog. There was no time for sulking. We filmed for 4 hours. Sometimes things happen exactly at the right moment. SOMETIMES THAT IS.
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